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How do you define wisdom?
Who is the wisest person you know?
How can we bring more wisdom into our politics?
I recently encountered an article in the New York Times Magazine about the science of getting older and wiser. Before reading it I stopped to consider if I'm getting wiser or just getting older. It's hard to say. Not the getting older part; the getting wiser part. When I think about people I see as wise there are things they have in common, including a lively curiosity about life (which they see as an endless learning process), an ability to admit when they're wrong or don't know the answer without getting defensive, and the ability to laugh at themselves. They're smart people, but knowledge isn't wisdom so much as the ability to apply that knowledge, along with the ability to empathize and attempt to understand people who are different ... or difficult.
The wise people I know are funny, too, with humor ranging from dry to sly to self-deprecating to truly witty. They also are emotionally and intellectually flexible, able to roll with life's punches and adapt to changing circumstances without resorting to blame or victimhood. Turns out those are especially useful qualities when confronting the increasing indignities of an aging body.
If you're interested in seeing how wisdom was defined and studied by researchers, check out this list of 39 questions to tally up your own Wisdom Scorecard.
So, what do the experts say?
True personal wisdom involves five elements, said Professor Staudinger, now a life span psychologist and professor at Columbia University. They are self-insight; the ability to demonstrate personal growth; self-awareness in terms of your historical era and your family history; understanding that priorities and values, including your own, are not absolute; and an awareness of life’s ambiguities.Here's that element of open-mindedness and curiosity I was looking for:
Modern definitions of wisdom tend to stress kindness — even if it’s not on the order of Buddha, Gandhi or the Dalai Lama. Wisdom is characterized by a “reduction in self-centeredness,” Professor Ardelt said. Wise people try to understand situations from multiple perspectives, not just their own, and they show tolerance as a result.And no, Intelligence does not equal wisdom:
“There’s evidence that people who rank high in neuroticism are unlikely to be wise,” said Laura L. Carstensen, a psychology professor and founding director of the Stanford Center on Longevity in California. “They see things in a self-centered and negative way and so they fail to benefit emotionally from experience, even though they may be very intelligent.”Excuse for me being just a little snide in noting many of our Republican friends' shortcomings in their failures to live up to such standards. But then, I am failing to live up to such ideals myself by engaging in such an ingroup/outgroup approach regarding people who think differently or have different values than I. And that's without getting involved in local pie fights! (Ok, I don't get involved, but I do sometimes show an unseemly interest in them, which ends up being bad for my emotional equilibrium and therefore unwise.)
Which brings me back to my question: How can we bring more wisdom into our politics?
How can we reject unsustainable ideas without demonizing or dehumanizing our opponents? How can we take the long view when it comes to the political and social changes we want to see right now? For me this means understanding that "things in this life change very slowly if they ever change at all" and taking the long view towards my efforts, letting my discouragement be transitory and resisting the occasional urge to walk away and chuck (or upchuck) it all. When talking to people who see things differently than I do it means not closing my mind or my heart to them, but instead trying to really hear where they're coming from and where they want to go.
Who is the wisest person I know? I apologize in advance for publicly embarrassing this particular kossack, but my two role models for approaching old age with wisdom are my late grandfather, who always kept learning new things and developing new skills late into retirement, and someone I'm proud to call my friend, side pocket.
I mean, look at his profile.
My only claim to fame is I went to every Netroots. Also license DLY KOS.Srsly? Doesn't that just say it all? Every time I see side pocket in person I'm struck anew by his genuine enthusiasm, his avid curiosity, his gentle humor, his open-heartedness, his attitude of gratitude, his kindness and compassion, and the great pleasure he takes in learning and understanding the world. I've never seen him be jaded or cynical or mean-spirited. It's not like he hasn't had challenges or bad things happen to him, either. He's what I hope to be more like when I grow up.
side pocket in Sedona, taking time from his vacation to focus positive energy for paradise50 , who was undergoing cancer treatment.
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